My coming out
I have a confession to make. It’s rather an eccentric one. I have decided that it was about time that I shared my « coming out » story with the world. So here goes. I can proudly announce that I am now an official book clubber. But what exactly does the status of a book clubber imply? Well, put simply it means that you take part in book discussions with other people. You read a couple of chapters every week, share thoughts on interesting sections or phrases of the book, and often end up linking them to your daily lives. I call it the book loop. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that makes reading purposeful. In this short article, I’m going to tell you all about what you can expect from a book club through my own lens, stating the uncanny advantages but also the not so fun parts of it too (the pangs aren’t very heavy, to be honest). Let’s dive into it!
Before joining a book club, I had always considered myself to be a « worthy reader » but looking back I was clearly kidding myself. There comes a time when you have to take full responsibility and give yourself a full 360-degree honest review (just like they do in companies, but here it’s just with yourself…on yourself). Only in hindsight, have I come to the realization that my lack of discipline in terms of reading, understanding, and finishing books has let me down on more than one occasion. Reading had become a frustrating practice and the conclusion was that I needed to do something about it.
Right Timing
For me, one of the rare positive points of the lockdown was that it became a catalyst for change on a personal level. It was a reflexive period, one where I realized and promised myself that I wanted to invest more time in myself. My book club story commenced last March. The world had come to a stall. No need to stipulate why I guess… As I was lying down on my bed and scrolling robotically one night, something caught my eye. One social media post stuck out (a rarity nowadays). It spurred something in me. Now thinking back, it’s funny analyzing how my brain navigates through all this data, carefully drifting me in distinct directions. It’s kind of disturbing and reassuring that your mind somehow still manages to choose what kind of daily « turbulence » it wants to be influenced by. Spotting, highlighting & clustering these flashes of information into subcategories almost instantaneously. So, thanks brain for these unique, embedded, algorithms that infuse & set off weird things inside my head. I owe you one!
Carla. Or should I say Corporate C ? (it’s an inside joke)
It was this girl's post that triggered something inside me. Her facebook publication arrived at the perfect moment. Although my initial thoughts towards the idea of being in a book club were rather dire, I somehow knew that the benefits were just around the corner and that an opportunity like this wasn’t going to pop up again any time soon. I needed to seize it. I simply had to become a part of this soon-to-be family. So, a burning feeling inside me decided to write to Carla. To say YES.
The Team
I think that it would be rather disrespectful of me to NOT present you guys the team. The souls of our book club. The Rockstar’s that run the show every week. The intellectual wannabes. The elite of literature. The penguin gurus. The utopists of tomorrow. Okay, maybe that was a tad too much. But you get the point. All jokes aside, our book club is pretty frickin’ exotic. It is made up of 4 members. We have Olaf, the daddy of the group. The German philosopher, the curious bald guy as I like to refer to him as. We’ve got Mercedes, or should I say Mrs Benz (see what I did there?) that sparks up the meetups every time with her infectious energy and smile. Even when she forgets to read the chapters, she still turns up! Then we have Carla, or corporate C who is the driver of the show, the mommy that fuels the book club and who keeps us on track, and on our toes no matter what. Finally, we have me, aka Cyrilou, the final piece of the jigsaw that invigorates the book club. I’ll put myself out there as the kind troller of the team, the one who keeps the momentum going through bursts of positivity & borderline jokes.
The Books
I don’t need to go deep into this part but let me maybe just fly through them and describe the journey of books we undertook as a book club, where we are/got stuck, and what might come next — a quick teaser. One of the main assets of our book club is that we have achieved contribution parity in the discussion field. Meaning, we empower each member to the same extent and let each person express themselves according to their will, which in return balances out the equation. Every participant has the freedom and chance to pick a book they would like to read that the others might not read on their own, hence we expand our horizons on different topics which also shows the growth we are experiencing, not only personally but intellectually adding more layers to our knowledge.
We are currently finishing off our 3rd book, Why we sleep (Mathew Walker), which I highly recommend even though it’s a heavy read from a vocabulary and factual perspective. The author bombards the reader with scientific information but has a fascinating way of describing elements — the sentences seem to come to life, and you are somehow still able to visually digest them! Prior to this, our book club read Start with why (Simon Sinek) and Utopia for realists (Rutger Bregman) — two very inspiring publications that changed my approach to life. I can’t wait to read some more, the next one is actually on me Can’t even: How millennials became the burnout generation (Anne Helen Peterson). The chase is on!
The Team that became Family
I rarely say this because I’m not a fan of sustaining relationships through screens — but I have realized and can now confirm that our weekly book club calls are actually a time when you remotely connect with other people. It’s a time of mutual growth. You become a part of something bigger by linking up with other people from your living room. Book club calls are a super safe and healthy environment to be involved in. No judgments are involved. And there is a sense of mutual respect which reigns.
The craziest part about the whole book club process is the social side of it. You really get to know people. It’s quite a scary phenomenon. One that I hadn’t imagined. Cause for some weird reason, you’ll find yourself exploring hidden parts of people’s lives without even realizing it! Which brings me to the next big + side of book clubs. The incessant, incomparable, uncontainable book club jokes. A selection of kindly drafted book jokes which only book club participants can dare to understand, laugh about, and find hilarious. They’re so cheesy and childish that you’ll find yourself in primary school again. I’ll shoot you a lil’ example so that you get the idea: « So book fam lets only read one chapter for next week, so we give SOMEONE the chance to catch up on their reading » Yeah, that’s another thing too, you never call out the person with your joke. The person concerned should get it before you’ve even finished the sentence (or else maybe your joke wasn’t book club friendly…) Last but not least, the number of topics you’ll cover will make you appreciate conversations more. You’ll notice that the subjects of discussion are limitless. And that some discussions work best without a timeframe nor a predefined goal. During book club sessions, you’ll find yourself stumbling upon them, and you’ll see that the members will listen a bit more, they’ll undoubtedly adopt a more empathic attitude, allowing the discussions to breathe finer air.
The Flip Side
Of course, the book club experience can also be tough. There are nights where you would rather be somewhere else. We’ve all been there. So, for sure, after a long hard day at work, attending a book club session can be a tedious task. But you have to find the motivation from within. You have to pull through, it’s those first couple of minutes which are difficult, and then after 15–20 minutes of conversation, you’ll usually find yourself getting into a flow.
There also times where the tools will let you down. Indeed, connection lags are pretty detrimental, especially when you are discussing delicate topics. One final thing that I would like to mention is the work ethic required to sustain a book club. And this too can be hard sometimes. All the members have to make time in their packed weeks to read and appreciate the ouvrage. But all members must also actively take part in discussions on book club nights. So, a lack of intention, energy, and direction can prevent the book club from thriving. Of course, this is easier said than done. There will be nights when the team is a shamble. There will be nights when the gang is a wreck. When the wannabe intellectuals need a rest. Just like in life, there will be days when some of the core ingredients are missing. And just like in life, bad days will pop up, especially on book club evenings. But…just like in life, you need to acknowledge them and not push them away, right?
Self-care Remedy
Personally, I perceive the act of reading as an investment in oneself and more importantly one of self-care. I don’t know what your relationship to reading is like, but I bet that it fulfills you to some extent. It’s an effective remedy. Whether it may serve as an escape route from the real world or simply enable you to feel smarter, the act can be satisfying in a multitude of ways. You can absorb an unlimited amount of vocabulary and acquire knowledge simultaneously. You can let your eyes and body rest momentarily. And most of all, you can develop the art of speaking beautifully and effortlessly. What more reasons do you need to grab a book and start reading? Ultimately, participating in a book club will teach you how to express your ideas. You will learn how to build on other people’s thoughts. You will become a better listener and get the knack of creating more profound discussions by formulating your opinions in specific ways.
A few Book Club Takeaways!
- Consistency is key — Find flexibility in the structure though
- Keep the momentum going — Energy is a prerequisite
- Choose the right number of members & the right time/day for meetups — Two non-negotiables that will instigate a state of flow
- Devices Off — Be more present by eliminating any external noise
- Designate a facilitator — Rely on & hold somebody accountable for the smooth running of the converse
If any of you kind souls out there want to participate in our book club,
You are more than welcome. Hit me up for a tryout!
Much Love
Cyrilou & the book club gang
